Saturday, June 18, 2011

Channel 4 Documentary

Hello my dear friends and the countrymen! I am back! I am not coming here to be doing my blog for many months but finally I am returning because Our Majesty who is the conqueror of the whole universe except the Oxford and a few places in the West where some naughty Tamils are living is asking me to come back and defend the realm (and the universe he is conquering). Merry Win, he is saying come and give me the hand because they are trying to be taking me to the electric chair! I am saying, Your Majesty you are never going to be sitting anywhere near the electric chair. How can anyone be giving you the shock? You are the one who is shocking the whole world. But because you are asking I will return and fight for you and our mothers land which are both one and the same thing these days.
Let us be looking at the Channel 4 video which is what is causing Our Majesty the grievoous mental disturbance nowadays.  The channel is claiming to be showing Sri Lankan soldiers shooting the innocent civilians and the captured Tamil Tigers including the women. This they are also claiming is sign that Sri Lankan forces are committing the war crime and this is making Our Majesty seeing every chair including the throne like the electric chair.
I am here to be telling you that the Sri Lankan armed forces are never committing no crime against the humanities. They are never shooting or bombing no civilian. Our Majesty is saying our heroic forces are going into the battle with the gun in the one hand and the Human Rights charter in the other hand. If our soldiers are like those Hindu gods with more than the  two hands I am sure they are also carrying so many other things, but we are not Hindus so we have only the two hands. The soldiers are firing he gun at the enemy and using the Charter to be dealing with the civilians. Therefore, any damage, destruction or even death caused to the civilians is done not by the gun or the bomb or the multi barrelled rocket launcher but by the charter of the human rights. I can be assuring you that the charter is big book. It can be causing enough blunt force trauma to be killing many civilians. In fact and truthfully speaking they have not been killed. They have been charterd. So please be blaming the moron who is making the charter so big, not our heroic soldiers who are only carrying what others have made big and lethal.
However, I am also having solution to this problem. If the charter is to big and dangerous why not make it smaller and less dangerous? I am thinking people these days are having too many rights, a right for every little thing. This is what is making the Charter so big. So, why not be getting rid of some of the rights, like the right of civilians trapped in the conflict zones and the rights of the minorities that are preventing rulers like Our Majesty from doing whatever is pleasing him to whoever is not pleasing him and make the book smaller. Then, not only is the Charter not going to be threat to nobody but it is also easy to carry. Then instead of carrying it in the one hand our soldiers can be carrying it in the mouth having that hand also free to be carrying something more useful, like another gun.
Lastly, I must also be telling the peoples of this world that the channel 4 videos that you are watching are all fake and not true also. I am not using bogus experts to be checking this. I am doing it myself because I am also doctor. So I am getting the computer while it is showing the videos on the Internet and analysing it. That means I am taking the computer apart which is what analysing is – to be taking something apart and examining. So I am doing the analysing and what am I finding? Nothing but computer parts – no evidence of atrocities committed on anyone or anything but my own computer which is looking like the Nanthiikadal area after our heroic forces are going through it with the gun in the one hand and the Human Rights Charter in the other.
Please stop listening to what other peoples are saying about our country. Just be listening to me and My Majesty!
I am Merry Win Silva, member of the Parliament (Sri Lankan) and king of the Kelaniya side.

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